TRUST FALLS

I often feel like a toddler. Especially in areas of life that challenge me most. What’s going on? What does that mean? Why did that happen? What was that about? What was the reasonnnn? Truly, we’re all living in our own dramatic mystery movies, and we are the clueless main character. We never know what’s going on! As Christians, I think the most important thing for us to do is to trust the vision of the producer and director, God. This is easier said than done, because we have our own vision and don’t see His.

If you’re used to the manifestations of your human efforts, trusting God when you don’t understand what’s going on or why it’s happening can be difficult. Faith isn’t hard to muster when things are going well and you’re not being challenged. But when you are challenged, in pain, struggling, and feeling like He’s not hearing you, then what?

It’s time to practice trust falling.

For we walk by faith, not by sight. 2 Corinthians 5:7 NKJV

Silly Human: What Do You Know?

The thing is, He may not show up in the exact way and at the precise moment that we think He should because He has plans that may be contrary to our puny plans. For example, recently, something came into my life, and I low-key really wanted that. With the way it was manifesting, I honestly thought it was God-sent. Long story short, things went left and God did not endorse that. At that moment, I was upset with God. I was like, Lord, this is very light work! If anybody can make it happen, YOU can! So why are you not?! Do you not care about me and what I want!? All I needed to do was stomp my feet, and I would’ve been in full-brat mode. (I may or may not have done that.) And then I was upset with myself for being upset with God and not trusting Him. Because if anybody knows what’s best for me, it’s HIM! I am a mere mortal- a microscopic being with a fleeting life and a very limited perspective.

As humans, we hardly have an inkling of what is or isn’t best for us in comparison to God. But when you’re smack-dab in the middle of the tumultuous emotions that come with being denied something that you want, that you thought He sent, it’s hard to feel like a good thing is happening. As stated in The Only Resolution You Need For 2024, the plan is to stay in God’s face, listen to His voice, and be obedient. WELL, God said “No,” and the spoiled child just hopped out of me. Ha! Honestly, I was confused and irritated because I didn’t understand why the situation occurred and what I was supposed to be learning within it. But we won’t know in the moment, will we?

Diligently Focusing On God’s Character and His Promises Would Have Helped Me Trust Fall.

Meditating on:

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7 NIV

or

He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Romans 8:32 NLT

or

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11 NIV

Or one of the many other verses I have highlighted in my app, and in my bible, or written on my dry erase board.

Cling To The Well

When God says “No,” I feel like some situations require action on your part, while others don’t because He’s got it covered—He’ll take care of removing or redirecting everyone or everything involved. This was one of the situations where I should have let Him handle it, and instead of doing that, I interfered when I didn’t need to! I was anxious, when I didn’t need to be. This is another example of not trusting because God didn’t need my help. I didn’t trust fall and let Him fully handle the situation. Honestly, we see where our faith really is in these moments. And mine wasn’t where I want it to be, but I think that’s part of our walk with God. The more we intentionally walk with Him, the more we’ll reach new heights of spiritual awareness, and the deeper down the well of faith we will fall. The problem is, and I want to stress to you, dear reader, that we are a forgetful species.

I’m not sure how I did, but in my moment of anxiety, I forgot the ways that God has come through for me. Not only has He handled the big and small things that I know about, but He’s handled the big and small things that I don’t know about. That’s a BIG fact, and I forgot about it. At that moment, anxiety and another powerful sensation held me hostage: the feeling that my prayers were unheard or dismissed, as if God was not listening to me. That contributed to me reverting to my old pattern of self-reliance instead of trusting His divine guidance. But God is ever-attentive and deeply concerned about our worries and desires. In this moment of truth, I forgot the truth.

The Truth

The truth is God is good all the time. And all the time, God is good. Unless you’ve personally met Jesus while He was physically here, you and I don’t know what perfect love looks like on a day-to-day basis. It’s hard to imagine a love so pure when you have not seen or experienced it from anyone in the earthly realm. God loves us in a way nobody else can or does, so it makes sense that we would misunderstand His ways and/or forget after realizing this. Nobody else provides a love as faithful and as unconditional as His. We don’t have a point of reference for this level of goodness outside of Him, so in our moments of trouble, it’s easy to think of God as we do people. That they aren’t really listening, don’t really care, and might let us down. But God ain’t one of them, and He’s for us in every way. (Check out the book Holier Than Thou by Jackie Hill Perry; she breaks this down nicely.) We all would do well to remember that, especially when things are out of our control or don’t look like what we think they should. 

The anxiety and sense of feeling unloved settled into guilt for not trusting. Guilt lingered, and I repented, but in the middle of that process, the lyrics from this song oh-so boldly came to mind. In fact, they inspired this post. Specifically, the first few lines, “If trees could talk, in harvest we would hear them cry. Lord, pruning hurts, but for you, I would gladly die.” Pruning is the process of cutting away dead or overgrown branches to increase fruitfulness. These exact lyrics coming to mind at the time that they did were not a coincidence; it was a reminder that I am being pruned. Self-reliance is a good branch, but it’s competing with God, so it’s being cut. What I wanted might be an idol that competes with God, and it’s being cut. What we think is good and what He knows is good are two different things, and we might cry about it in the process; we’re only human. But our tears will water the soil, and as we remain in Christ, God will bear us much fruit.

I pray we remember that.