Try Jesus, Don’t Try Me

We love warning people, don’t we?

I know you recognize these catchy phrases that we love to throw out: “Try me if you want to,” “Cut off game strong,” “I’ma always get my lick back,” “Because I’m petty,” “DPMO (don’t piss me off),” I can keep going, but you know the vibes. If you haven’t said one of them yourself, someone you know has. Can we talk about it, fam?

I can’t lie, all of these phrases have made me chuckle at one point or another. The context is usually humorous or somewhat relatable, hence the popularity. But I want to address what lies beneath these kinds of sentiments, because for many they’re more than just a giggle; they’re a whole mentality! Our culture heavily endorses things like cutting people off, getting your revenge, telling people off, warning people not to challenge; and it’s easy to adopt this way of thinking and behaving. But let me tell you, using these phrases and practicing the mentalities that are married to them will have you bearing rotten fruit! Do you hear me? Rotten.

Okay friend, let’s get into it. Which one have you been? Rigid Rae, with the strong-cut-off game? Vengeful Vic, who has to get their payback ? Petty Pat, the one who holds on to every slight and is an expert shade thrower? All of them? Ha!

Rigid Rae

I can admit, I’ve been Rigid Rae. My mentality was very much try Jesus, don’t try me in relation to my cut-off game. This was my Reign of Terror era: hasty trials and guillotines, and nobody was off limits. I thought this was a good thing, I mean, I’m protecting myself! I gotta protect my energyyy. Right!? Right???

Um, well… My cut-off-game-strong stage was really unhealed trauma, poor boundary setting, subpar communication skills, and lack of patience masquerading as protection. Oop! I’m talking about me, but if I scalped you, just know that we’re bald together. Let me be clear; not everybody can go where you’re going, and not everyone is a match for your life or the season you’re in. However, the spirit and feel of allowing a relationship to diminish due to natural selection Vs cutting them off is very different. You know what I’m talking about! The latter flows and is authentic and the former is manufactured by ego and enforced by pride. And it is common.

Petty Pat

Where you at Petty Pat’s!?

Petty Pat is an expert at shade throwing and is the king/queen of going tit for tat. The motto is typically, “they did x, so I’m gonna do y” or, “they didn’t do x, so I’m not gonna do y”, over anything and everything. Try Jesus, not Petty Pat, because they’re shady and passive aggressive and will be sure to show you in one way or another that they’re not the one or the two. Pat wants all of their change down to the last penny, is still salty about that comment you made two years ago, and will go out of their way to “accidentally” spoil that thing that they know you’re excited about. Also, do not get into an argument with Petty Pat and expect to have the last word; they will have it. I don’t know a soul who hasn’t had a single petty moment, but for some people, it’s consistent behavior and they’re unapologetically p-e-t-t-y! But pettiness is really immaturity, small-mindedness and a symptom of feeling powerless. And it is common.

Vengeful Vic

Vengeful Vic is the intensified version of Petty Pat in my mind. They are essentially Petty Pat with malicious intent. Vic takes Petty Pat’s passive aggression and upgrades it to active aggression. Lightly put, get my lick back Vic can be dangerous. They will take what you dished out, big or small, and be sure to give it back! They might even double it. It’s very human to want to hit the person who hit you back, but for many of us, the moral compass will kick in and tell us it’s not worth the trouble. However, Vengeful Vic wants all the smoke; they want you to taste every bite of that dish they’re serving. Yet vengeance is, in fact, their own poison. Even when done for seemingly valid reasons, vengeance will consume a person’s psyche and turn their spirit into something ugly. Their goal is to win, but getting revenge doesn’t dissolve anger and pain; it often adds to it, so everyone loses. And it is common.

Rotten Fruit

You might think it’s not that deep, but the fruit you would bear from speaking these phrases over your life and practicing these mindsets includes intolerance, impatience, a vengeful spirit, and narrow-mindedness. These traits and behaviors will keep us isolated, ignorant, and wading through unnecessary pain! They will ultimately slow us down from reaching our potential and meeting our purpose. How can I reach my potential and meet my purpose if my cut-off game has me removing people who have an assignment in my life? How can I reach my potential and meet my purpose if I lack the maturity and broad-minded thinking that are essential to living the life God has planned for me? How can I reach my potential and meet my purpose when I’m consumed by revenge and the weight of my past vengeful actions are blocking me from healing? We have such catchy ways of endorsing things that subtly deplete our spirits. The enemy is crafty, y’all.

What’s Missing?

As a believer or someone stepping into faith, what’s missing from these mindsets and our culture in general? Patience, grace, and forgiveness. While commonly viewed as weaknesses, practicing them would completely change the landscape of Rae’s, Pat’s, and Vic’s minds and lives. There is strength in patience, grace, and forgiveness. Many times, it’s much easier to be rigid, petty, and vengeful than to show patience, give grace, and forgive. Having the capacity to tolerate high levels of difficulty or discomfort takes work. Showing kindness to someone when they do not deserve it is not easy. Going through the process of letting go of your wounded feelings is hard! We don’t need to spend so much time and energy warning people not to try us; it’s like placing a sign on our foreheads that tell everyone where our character is lacking. Think about that the next time you have a try Jesus, don’t try me, moment. We can have boundaries and firmly uphold them with a gentle spirit! After all, we’re striving for soul-nourishing lifestyles and diamond-studded demeanors around here! But culture will feed our egos and applaud the things that appeal to our worldly natures, so be careful, friend.

Verses To Meditate On

Let’s not walk; let’s sprint away from our Rigid Rae, Petty Pat, and Vengeful Vic tendencies! When the urge to pop off (in whichever way you tend to do) wants to rise within you, I encourage you to take a breather and meditate on the following verses that preach patience, grace, and forgiveness. Read them again and again until the feelings dim and are extinguished. If they’re still not gone, pray about it and reread them! If you need more swords to fight the battle, let me know. I’ve got plenty more for you! Or pull out your Bible and flip through it. I promise it has what you need!

Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Colossians 3:12 NLT

We prove ourselves by our purity, our understanding, our patience, our kindness, by the Holy Spirit within us, and by our sincere love. 2 Corinthians 6:6 NLT

Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. Ephesians 4:2 NLT

Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Colossians 3:13 NLT